1. A man who wants a pretty nurse, must be patient.
2. A man who leaps off a cliff, jumps to a conclusion.
3. A man running in front of a car gets tyred; And a man running behind a car, gets exhausted.
4. War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left.
5. A man who drives like hell, is bound to get there.
6. A lion will not cheat his wife, but a Tiger wood!
7. Toilets are a great place to think. No wonder they are called “Sochalayas”…
😜
– via Priya F.
What is A.A.A.D.D. ? It is
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. 😜
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think,
since I’m going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my cheque book off the table,
and see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking.
I’m going to look for my cheques,
but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye–they need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I’ll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn’t washed
the bills aren’t paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don’t have enough water,
there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I’m really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail….
Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don’t remember who I’ve sent it to.
Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, *your* days are *coming*!!
😊
Source : Author unknown
Got it as a forward from another forgetful friend!!
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
I didn’t like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine (u r in) trouble.
Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Yes, we arson.
Why is ‘dark’ spelt with a k and not c?
Because you can’t ‘c’ in the dark.
Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock?
Well, because time will tell.
Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
I’m trying to organize a hide-n-seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.
It’s all about raisin awareness!!
Via Jasmine C.
When does forgetfulness become something more serious? And how can we delay or even prevent that change? We talk to brain expert Richard Restak.
— Read on getpocket.com/explore/item/stop-drinking-keep-reading-look-after-your-hearing-a-neurologist-s-tips-for-fighting-memory-loss-and
As you’re putting together your packing list, here are the pre-travel pro tips you need to travel smart.
— Read on www.cnet.com/home/travel-checklist-19-things-to-prep-and-pack-before-your-next-vacation/
Don’t wait; rotate.
— Read on getpocket.com/explore/item/how-often-should-you-rotate-tires
Don’t be scared of cleaning your skillet!
— Read on getpocket.com/explore/item/how-to-clean-a-cast-iron-skillet
These conversation-starting questions help you get to a deeper level with a friend or partner. You’ll leave the conversation knowing someone far better than before.
— Read on www.prevention.com/sex/relationships/a40460332/questions-to-ask-to-get-to-know-someone/
You can’t take your Twitter account with you to that infinite scroll in the sky.
— Read on lifehacker.com/how-to-preserve-your-digital-legacy-and-why-you-should-1848900489
Slow internet connection? Knowing how to get faster internet at home for free could seriously improve your online life.
— Read on www.tomsguide.com/how-to/how-to-get-faster-internet-at-home-for-free
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